so i get the concept about not carrying all of your old shit along with you, what i’m not so clear on is the method. part of my issue is that i denied things were happening to begin with. i would disassociate to a safe place outside of myself and hide. so, i’m trying not [...]
Archive for the ‘old shit’ Category
osho 2.0
Posted in old shit on April 20, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
ptsd
Posted in old shit on March 25, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
kicking my ass to the curb it is.
hermitage
Posted in day to day, old shit on March 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
it’s the last few days of spring break. i’ve spent most of it holed up here, still not seeing many people. i got quite a bit accomplished – still nothing close to my plans, but i am a little over zealous about plans. i’ve stopped bristling when the phone rings, and yesterday, i even answered [...]
Posted in day to day, old shit on March 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
how is it that i still let my mother hi jack my day? she makes me so angry, and she is so oblivious to the fact that she makes me angry, even when i am point blank telling her “It makes me angry when this happens”
it makes me feel small and petty on the one [...]
life lesson
Posted in day to day, old shit, war in Iraq on February 27, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
so, i’m driving home from working at school, listening to obama speak about his plans for the military, and he tells a story of two young marines who defended their corp from an oncoming suicide bomb truck, and how at the cost of their brave lives, so many more were saved.
thank god i was home [...]
really
Posted in day to day, memorial project, old shit on February 24, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
it seems like this place has gotten a little melodramatic as of late and i guess i’m going to decide to be okay with that. normally in life i would force myself to shift gears and sing and dance and fight a way to be entertaining. but, i feel like i am always, “on.” i [...]
too much
Posted in day to day, memorial project, old shit on February 23, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
it’s just too much. i thought i could do this and learn some new skills, skills i really need to learn, but maybe not with this project. maybe with this project i’m supposed to learn to ask for help. it was easy enough to get people to help with making blocks, well, kind of easy. [...]
help
Posted in day to day, old shit on January 16, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
random notes on fears
i’ve never been good with allowing people to help me in any way. i am stubborn and independent from a genetic basis, but, also maybe part of this overwhelming fear / loathing/dislike of needing help or just folks wanting to be nice and me being unable to let them has a little [...]
