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Posts Tagged ‘quilt’

pink & orange

pink & orange

I so did not want to do what really needed to be done today.  I have huge issues with pr type stuff.  Something about it feels bragadocious and boastful.  I know that it really isn’t, and no one is ever going to know about this war project if I don’t get out and tell them, but it’s really hard.

Somehow when I speak to people about it, it ends up back at me and “what an awe inspiring idea”  I had, and it feels too much about me, and it’s not supposed to be about me.  The whole rest of my life is selfishly about me.

Instead of whining, I’ll post some photos of someone elses charity project that I maniacally worked on instead of my own.

project improv block

another project improv block

another project improv block

project improv block
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detail of the memorial project

So, this blog is my safe place where I can whine about things I try to stay upbeat about on my other blog. Ok, not so much upbeat, as much as I just don’t like to express how utterly sad and overwhelmed I get about the war, and the project I have undertaken. My mom reads the other blog, and she would worry too much if she knew how negatively this affects me sometimes. My other blog is at http://andstillcounting.blogspot.com and chronicles the progress of a fiber art memorial I started last spring.

You can read about the progress of the project (and sign up to help! PLEASE!!) over there. Over here I need to say that there are about 300 completed blocks in my home. Each block represents 213 deaths. That means I have the symbolic representation of 63,900 souls in my living room.

Most of the time I hold up alright with that. I had a big break about it this summer. I cried and cried when I realized how much death this is. We had some talks, those blocks and I. They know that my intentions are honorable and I don’t mean to exploit them. I simply want them to be remembered. I want us to stop and think about what responsibility we have as a nation. As citizens of the world.

But, it is so much. The war debt is up to 1.9 TRILLION dollars. Are there numbers after trillion? ( I know there are, but, for the life of me I don’t want to know how to count that high.) I have reached a saturation point. I can’t listen to the news without having panic attacks. I listen to a story about a soldier who died, and know that he rests on my living room floor. At times I can find comfort in that, but, mostly it makes me sad these days.

I need to be doing more PR for this so that it can get out and be seen now that it is of a significant quantity, but I am so tired of it I can barely talk about it. Every time I decide to pack it all in, something happens from out of nowhere to encourage me, so, it seems like this is something I just need to figure out how to do.

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